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Wednesday, February 8, 2017

New Beginnings


I am writing this as I sit next to my sleeping toddler and I am alone with my thoughts. Yesterday I got the word that my daughter and I were approved to move into a condo. Just me and her. I had my doubts I would qualify for a condo on my own and part of me feels unworthy of such a beautiful space. And part of me wants to curl up in my mom's spare room forever. Ya know?

I'm going through a rough season of life right now. 

But today, I woke up with a new outlook on this whole adventure and with a new sense of ownership of this role of "single mom"-- a role that I didn't ask for and never expected.

But here we are. Single mom & a well loved kid. And the dog, of course.

Growing up, I went from my mom's house, to halfway house, a short-lived time with a roommate, to my home with my husband. It was never MY house. This is all very overwhelming, sad and liberating at the same time somehow. I am excited to show my daughter that this is what you do in tough situations, you handle it. You most certainly feel your feels and allow yourself to go through the emotions you need to in order to heal, but you don't let the world eat you up. When you get knocked down, no matter how many times, you get back up. Sometimes, you stay down longer than others--that's OK. But, you always, always get up. I will always be there with my hand out for her to grab when she needs a lift up just like my family has done for me time and time again. 

This might not be our situation forever. And maybe it will be. But for now...

This is me getting up. Again. 

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